If you're offended by sarcasm and relating religion to motorcycles you might want to avoid reading this blog post.
Ancient humans made up gods of everything in nature. Sun god, moon goddess, god of the harvest, goddess of fertility, and god of death. It's only natural for us to associate phenomena with the supernatural. My joke about the god of countersteer and Keith Code however is just me making fun at roughly a third of the world's religion and branding myself a disciple of Keith's teachings.
When the rain breaks just in time for the weekend, its an obvious sign that the motorcycle Gods want you to go riding. When you exit a posted 35mph corner hot and discover a slow Mustang in your lane, and a clear passing lane, its an obvious sign from the motorcycle Gods that they want you to pass the Mustang at triple digits. When someone tells you about a bike night two towns over and you've had a tiring day at the office, its a sign the motorcycle Gods want you to go riding.
At Salem bike night I had the pleasure of talking with a younger rider that I had sent a bunch of training material to and tried to nicely tell him he needed to improve a few things. To my surprise he told me he'd started with the training materials, recognized the critiques I had given him, and was signed up for new racer school. That made my day. It might be the first time that someone I have tried to give advice to has taken the advice and told me so. You know the fat guy in the Twist of the Wrist 2 video that gives the two younger guys the copy of Twist and tells them to learn? That's me, except I'm not fat yet and my bike is red. Maybe I need to start carrying my copy of Twist on group rides.
Besides not really being the most outgoing person, I want to help people on a basic level. Since I'm obsessed with riding, I suppose it's natural that I want to help younger sport riders to become proficient and responsible instead of crash out and become an "I used to ride". Maybe the motorcycle Gods are giving me a hint.
Whether you believe in the motorcycle Gods or not, you probably participate in some kind of ritual when you ride.Your favorite riding shirt, your pre-ride routine, your bumper sticker that tells of your fallen comrades, and your road gremlin bell. Aren't those the silliest little pieces of flair?
Road bells are supposed to protect you from the gremlins but I have news for you seeker, they don't work if you buy them for yourself! If you buy it for yourself its like Simony, paying for works from a higher power and you'll be punished for your insolence. Any magic totem that's worth its salt has to be imbued with that power by someone else. Someone has to GIVE you that road bell for it to work. Just like an indulgence from the church lacks the power of a relic owned by a saint. If you taunt the motorcycle Gods with your false totems, or by not taking an opportunity when they give you one, they'll punish you with rain, a ticket, and maybe even a crash.
I know what you're thinking, I'm so full of bull that I'm smelling steak. What would you say if I told you that I can control the outcome of MotoGP? In 2013 I bought a Honda CBR600RR, just before the premiere race of GP for the year. As we all know 2013 and 2014 Marc Marquez swept the grid on his factory Honda. In 2015 I bought a Star/Yamaha Bolt, then crashed my CBR at the track. I was off the CBR for most of the year until I rebuilt it. In 2015 Jorge freaking Lorenzo won the championship (ok, Dorna kinda gave it to him by penalizing Rossi after Marquez dropped back to mess with him) on a factory Yamaha. I hate Marc Marquez, that smug little bastard, but he's pretty good and Honda makes great bikes. Well guess what I did in 2016, I bought a Honda VFR800 Interceptor. In 2016 Marc Marquez won another championship. Who's full of it now, huh?
Along with applying names and personas to a pantheon of motorcycle Gods, we riders also have our own heaven to go to. How many times have you heard that someone is now riding the highway or racetrack in the sky? Unfortunately if you're in the community long enough you'll have an acquaintance or friend who goes to the racetrack in the sky. In the dark and lonely parts of the night sometimes I stop to think about it and I realize that most of my motorcycle brothers that have gone to the highway in the sky have gone there because of suicide, not because of a motorcycle crash. It chokes me up to think that just in the last year Nate the Watchman, Rip van Winkle, and Rich I don't know his road name have all chosen to end their mortal run early.
If there is a heaven outside of what we make up to soothe our own worries, I hope my friends have found the peace there that they didn't have on earth.
On a happier note, here's a picture of my Interceptor I took the other day after washing her. She's been such a good girl I bought her the solo rear cowl. The new windscreen is on the way, and once I sell some more junk on eBay I'll be able to get the Akrapovic slip on (which is street legal in the EU, and thus has a decibel limit that's legal here!).
